Vicky C Ahoy

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Akashic Records

Akashic Records & Oracle Card Reading for November 2020

By Vicky Charles, 11 months11 months ago

Akashic Records

Channeled message: what you were born to do

By Vicky Charles, 11 months11 months ago

Akashic Records

Channeled Message – a light shines on you

By Vicky Charles, 11 months11 months ago

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Akashic Records

Channeled message – the process of letting go

By Vicky Charles, 11 months11 months ago

abstract art blue close up

Akashic Records

Channeled message: love is the only work

By Vicky Charles, 12 months12 months ago

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vickycahoy

✨ student of the Akashic Records ✨
🌟 a spiritual being having a human experience 🌟
❄️ beautiful & unique as a snowflake - just like you ❄️

Today's message Follow your heart Trust yourself

Today's message
Follow your heart
Trust yourself

#healingenergytools #messagefromtheuniverse #followyourheart #trustyourself #intuition #guidance #universemessages #todaysmessage #thismessageisforyou #1111 #positivevibes #goodvibes

Today is 10 years since I first found out I was pr

Today is 10 years since I first found out I was pregnant.
We've had a bumpy ride from time to time, but we've mostly been smiling. I'm proud of both of us and how far we've come.

If you'd told me 11 years ago, when I was in the midst of a mental breakdown, that I would end up here, I would never have believed you.

Actually, if you'd told me 10 years ago when that test was positive, that I would do this entire parenting journey alone, and that I would keep both our heads above water, I would have thought it impossible.
I thought I was too weak to do it alone and that I needed someone to tell me what to do. I was so wrong.

When I told my boss at the time that I was pregnant, he told me he thought becoming a parent would be the making of me. I'm inclined to think he was right.

#singleparentlife #parenthood #pixelkids #oureverydaymoments #familyselfie #illuminatechildhood #childhoodunplugged #loveourbigkids #simplychildren #thehappynow #kidsforreal #letkidsbekids #magicofchildhood #candidchildhood #umh_kids #goingitalone #itgetsbetter

Sunday morning bulletproof coffee and yesterday's

Sunday morning bulletproof coffee and yesterday's newspaper supplements.
I have been doing a great deal of thinking since I spoke to the counselor on Thursday (as detailed in a previous post).
Here's the thing: if my negative and uncomfortable thoughts and emotions are flashbacks, and I've been having these thoughts and emotions for thirty years on a regular and frequent basis - what the f*** is there left outside of those?
What is there left that has been or is my real life, if the majority of it has been flashbacks?
I mean, I have good days and bad days like anyone - but I would say that I've been having these thoughts at least once a week - and often they can last a week or more.
When I had a breakdown 11 years ago, my entire being was engulfed in the belief that there was something terribly wrong with me, that I was poisonous and nobody could ever love me. That went on for months where it was the dominant voice in my head - and when I began taking medication it only modified slightly into "my life is worthless and I need to die."
Years later, those thoughts may be quieter and less frequent but they are still there. Thankfully the suicidal ideas have been discounted by the fact I am now a parent and I am lucky to no longer consider death an option - and to be honest I think they were largely a side effect of the drugs.
I would be lying though if I said the thoughts that became the narrative of my life mid-breakdown had gone completely.
Is my life just more flashback than reality? Because that makes me sound like a character in a bad movie.
I find myself harangued by the idea that I don't know what lies outside or beneath the flashbacks.

So I suppose I'll just drink my coffee and see what comes up in my head today! After all, what else is there to do...

She used to wear fancy dress outfits for trips int

She used to wear fancy dress outfits for trips into town.
I used to wander around with a little minion or Sully from Monsters Inc alongside me.
Then she went through a stage of putting together her own "fancy dress" costumes where she would be a character from a book she'd been reading.
Now she colour coordinates her outfits. Today it was a red football shirt, with a slightly different shade of red shorts... With luminous pink football socks which were pulled up for most of the day.
I hate the thought of her feeling the pressure to wear "cool" clothes or to fit into a particular fashion or trend. I love that she wears what she wants to wear and resists any suggestion that she might want to change her outfit. She doesn't care if colours "clash" or if she gets mistaken for a boy (which happens a lot).
She's happy and confident enough in herself to just wear what she wants to wear... And I know plenty of adults who are not quite able to say that!

#parenthood #pixelkids #oureverydaymoments #illuminatechildhood #childhoodunplugged #loveourbigkids #simplychildren #thehappynow #documentyourdays #kidsforreal #letkidsbekids #magicofchildhood #candidchildhood #singleparentlife #umh_kids

Today's message You are on the right path #1111 #

Today's message
You are on the right path

#1111 #goodvibes #newbeginnings #abundance #happiness #newera #trust #intuition #universe #newearth #newbeginnings #blessings #peace #love #higherfrequency #instalove #lightworker #bestrong #healing #bliss #conciousness #alchemist #portal #quotes #awakening #gratitude #grateful #messagefromtheuniverse

I had something of a lightbulb moment today. I was

I had something of a lightbulb moment today.
I was told that when I have negative thoughts and feelings, especially about myself and my worth as a person, to see it as a form of flashback.
Negative thoughts and feelings, emotional discomfort, unpleasant physical sensations - they are all a form of flashback, and so we can breathe and separate ourselves from them.
Flashbacks aren't a big, dramatic event like a scene from a movie. And they can go on for days or even weeks.
For example: days or weeks of feeling that you're a failure or you're worthless, useless, will never amount to anything.
It's a form of flashback. It's not real.

Today I had a call from a counselor, as an introduction to "safety and stabilization therapy."
Back in June, I attended online group stabilization therapy, and if anything it made me worse - I was seething with rage by the end of the first session. I was told afterwards that normal approaches to PTSD don't often help people who have experienced domestic and/or sexual abuse because the trauma is different.
This therapy is one-to-one, with someone who works with survivors of sexual violence - but I still wasn't expecting it to be of much help. Probably just more "make a cup of tea and go to bed early" business.
I definitely did not expect such a potentially life changing moment, within 5 minutes of answering the phone.
Reframed like this, I have lived much of my adult life in a flashback. Which, frankly, explains a lot. So I thought I'd share, in case it helps anyone else.

[Photo is of S walking along Bournemouth beach, on our holiday last month]

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